Now picture us dancing around and singing. It’s officially, we fly into Boston on August 7th and will be there until the 13th. My family has been wonderful on being so flexible to be there with us. We can’t wait to see you all!!!! 
Ok….back to dancing and signing….we’re going to Boston! We’re going to Boston!!
I feel like the summer is flying by this year. Maybe because so much of it has been about me this year. I woke up this morning determined to create some memories with my kids. I need to find some that are cost effective though since lately, everything is starting to add up. For Matthew’s birthday, we took our three kids and one of Matthew’s friends to the movies and even though we went to a matinee, it was still over $75 for us. Then on Saturday, we decided to take the kids bowling thinking…that’s cheap right??? Well, two games and $50 later, we realized that bowling has gone up over the years!! LOL
So this morning, I hit google looking for ideas and I found two great blog entries with ideas. You can find them here and here.
We are set to go to Kansas City on the 3rd to see the Boston Red Sox play the KC Royals - we have tickets for two out of three games and Matthew is SO excited!! I had promised him that we would see a game at Fenway Park this year but once my trip to TX was set, I couldn’t figure out how to make that work so we went this route instead. I’m also trying to get to the Cape for a few days. This would be the first year in like 6 years that I wouldn’t be at the beach during the summer. I was fine with that until a couple of days ago when Mari pulled out the mini books from the past couple of summers. She started going through the memories and then Matthew and Nicholas started with…..we really miss the beach, we want to go to the Cape Codder (our favorite hotel there) and well….you know I was already in!! LOL :) So…I’m stalking the airline sites trying to find cheap tickets. So far the cheapest I can find is $350 a piece which may be a deal breaker! But…I’m not giving up yet!! LOL
And totally unrelated, I sent an email to The View this morning which is so unlike me but…..HUGE KUDOS to Elisabeth Hasselbeck for bringing up the lastest study which says that self breast exams may be harmful. That study made me SO mad because the self breast exam saved my life. For those of you that haven’t heard the story, I found the lump on my own when I was 37 and went to see a doctor the next day who told me that there was no way it was cancer and to watch it for 6 months. I knew something wasn’t right so 4 weeks later, I got another appointment this time with an OB/GYN who also told me that it wasn’t cancer. At this point, I got angry and said I wasn’t leaving without a mammogram. She said she would schedule it but the next available one was 4 weeks later and she didn’t see a reason to rush it. Well…the rest is history. Here’s the deal gals…..under 40, a self breast exam is your ONLY tool for detecting breast cancer since mammograms aren’t recommended under the age of 40. For those of you in this age bracket, please, please continue to do them. It saved my life and although, I hope that no other woman ever has to go through this, that isn’t realistic right now. Once you know your breasts, you WILL be able to tell when they don’t feel right. Ok….stepping down from my soapbox now…thanks Elisabeth for bringing this up on national TV. You will never know how many lives you may have saved!!
We are off to work on our Make It Something Monday projects - the kids are working on making their OWN zoo books (and their perfectionistic mother is keeping her mouth shut! ) and I’m not sure what I’m going to work on yet but…will figure out something.
I’ll update later. Have a great Monday everyone.
Deb
I’m so amazed by all the support from all of you. From emails, cards and even an amazing fruit bouquet from my friend Lisa. You all really know how to lift a person up. Thank you. I’m still working on my plan of “how to beat cancer…again” (laughing)
And thank goodness for Grammy’s. A HUGE box arrived yesterday from my mom with presents for all of us. It was mainly Matthew’s birthday gifts since he turned NINE (can you believe that - where did the time go) on Saturday but she also included gifts for Mari, Nicholas and ME!! :) It was like Christmas and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed some time alone and the kids played for HOURS with their new treasures. Thanks Mom!! (Matthew tried to call you yesterday on both your home and cell phone but he’s not very good at leaving a message so…..we’ll try again today)
I hope you all know HOW much your support means to me. I always say that having cancer can be very lonely at times but you have all made this a much more positive experience for me so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My friend Marilyn (another survivor) reminded me the other day that nothing has changed. It still isn’t in my organs and two months ago, I didn’t even know about this trial and I was doing fine. I do have to admit that hearing that I wasn’t in the trial and then on Saturday morning that my tumor markers went up about 20+ points, I felt like I was knocked down. I’m back to finding that fighting spirit in me. I KNOW I can do this and I have three kids that are counting on it. Thanks Marilyn for being such a smart lady.
Enough about cancer. I’m honestly sick of thinking and talking about it. Yesterday, I finished my start jar (from the LOM class) and got to go to Matthew’s baseball game. He is having a ball this summer on the second season team and they won the game 20 to 5!! :) Tonight, he is the starting pitcher - first time ever. I’m so nervous for him but of course, I’m not telling him that. You’ll find me at Holiday Park early with my camera to capture this moment!!
Speaking of capturing moments. I have to tell you that the class kit from One Summer is AMAZING. So many goodies in there and the directions from Kristi are so detailed. I’m not sure if they sold out yet but you can check out Kristi’s blog here to see if they have some left if you are interested.
I also signed up for the Get Inspired Crop. I’ve heard from people that it’s one of the best crops they have been to and I’m excited to have something to look forward to.
So, is anyone going to CHA in Chicago??? I would LOVE to go. If you have an extra ticket that is just burning a hole in your pocket, please let me know. I’m even willing to spend my evening helping you out with whatever. CHA is one of the trade shows for scrapbooking but you have to be with a manufacturer or a retailer to attend. It’s been one of my dreams to go and I always think (right about this time of year) that I should start a scrapbooking website but I really think I’m better at buying scrapbooking supplies versus selling them (laughing)
Well…that’s it from here. We are off to Walmart for a HUGE shopping trip. I even cut out coupons! I decided to turn it into a learning experience so Nicholas is responsible for the list and crossing things off, Matthew is reading the coupons and Mari has agreed to finding the items. So…how long do you think this trip is going to take us???? (laughing) :) I have a 2 page list so I’m thinking….two hours????
Anyways, I’ll update later but again, I can’t thank you all enough for your support. You really know how to make this girl feel special!!
Have a great day everyone.
Deb
It’s funny how things work out. We called Residence Inn before we left to make sure they had rooms and I booked the studio suite. When I got here, the woman at the front desk said…we decided to upgrade you to the two bedroom LOFT! It’s an amazing hotel room. I feel like I’m in ski loft. Plus..it had a murphy bed which the kids think is SO cool.
Then we ended up at Jason’s Deli at 7:30 to get take out because I wanted to get the kids to bed and we stayed in the pool too long. The woman there that did my order, threw in cookies for all of us.
Sometimes, the kindness of strangers comes at just the perfect time. Maybe Matthew was right…this trip was meant to be.
Night all.
Deb
I’m bouncing back from yesterday. Not 100% yet but I’m working on it. (laughing) Thanks to each and every one of you that emailed me. You are all amazing!! :)
Guess I didn’t realize how much I was counting on it cause it hit me way harder than I expected but….it’s another day now and life goes on. I kind of wish I didn’t tell as many as I did (maybe the blog post wasn’t the way to go - laughing) but…I did say that I wanted this to help others and I guess…posting the good and the bad might help someone else, right?
I spent last night reading….9 Steps for Reversing or Preventing Cancer and other diseases (by Shivani Goodman, Ed. D) and Everyday Grace(by Marianne Williamson). My mom sent me the first one a while ago and I’ve read it quite a few times but it’s a good one. It talks about the effect of negative people in your life and how to heal yourself from within. One of her theories is that she (she has cancer) can feel her symptoms get worse when she is under stress. I believe that as well. I personally think that one of the hardest things with cancer is to keep yourself positive and to surround yourself with people who believe in you. I think that everyone has days when you want to give up (at least I do) but (at least for me), I have three kids that are counting on me to do the best I can every day.
I just started the second one because I bought it yesterday at the airport - I was looking for something inspirational and well…that’s what I found. I started a plan last night to find the tools I need to continue fighting. When I was first diganosed with stage IV in May of 04, I put together a business plan (of sorts….since I had been in business for so long..it was one thing that I knew how to do) and I was really good about following it but then Mari and Nicholas entered kindergarten which was my LONG term goal and well…I started slacking.
So I’m back to working on a plan. The kids got home this morning from my in-laws and since we were all still packed up, I threw them in the car and we headed to Omaha, NE. The kids decided to “name” our trip on the way as the Trip of Wonder and Adventure so….we decided to stop along the way (plus….just an FYI to anyone who is thinking of making the trip from central Iowa - there was only one lane open for MOST of 80 - it took us forever to get here).
Here was our first stop:
It was such a cool shop that we may actually stop on the way back. It was room and rooms and rooms like this:
I found this great carpenter box and thought it would look great in my scrapbook room but it was priced at $30 and I thought it was too much but isn’t it cool??
We were planning on staying for one night in Omaha but my kids were so adorable when we got off the exit. Matthew exclaimed “Mommy, this was meant to be - our favorite hotel (Residence Inn) with a Jason’s Deli, Target and Perkins!” So…we are staying through Saturday. We’ll leave early on Saturday though cause it’s Matthew’s birthday and he is having a friend over for the day.
We are planning on the zoo in the morning and the pool in the afternoon. The only thing about jumping in the car so quickly is I didn’t exactly look at the weather and man…is it HOT! Crazy HOT so I don’t think I’ll be walking around the zoo for 8 hours but since we’ve never been here, I think whatever we get done will be fun. I also threw some white cardstock, recycled cardboard and some pink and black paper (have no idea how old that line was) in the car and decided I could do a book on my plan to keep myself busy. Not sure I’ll get to it but if I have time/energy, I have everything with me.
Anyways, just wanted you all to know I’m fine and I’ll just need to work a little harder to find my miracle but I’m not going to stop looking!!
It’s now quiet here so those kids must finally be sleeping so I’m off to join them. Hope everyone had a great day and made wonderful memories.
Deb
We started at 8:30 this morning in appointments. We were given a schedule with back to back appointments for two days but Dr. Ueno wasn’t convinced that I was the best candidate for this trial because of all the treatment I have had over the past 4 years. He said that he needs to do more homework to make a decision so…he is sending us home. This is the last thing I expected so it’s been a really hard day. We ended up getting the hotel not to charge us for tonight and the airline to change our flight so we’ll be home late tonight.
I said going into this if it was meant to be, it would be and I guess it isn’t but it’s a lot harder to deal with the reality. I really thought this was going to be my miracle.
There is a chance he’ll bring me back down for a PET scan at the end of August but it’s a small one. They said they get back to me next month (which since I’ve been through this before sounds to me like they’ve made up their mind - not that I want to be negative - it’s just I’ve done this for too long). He did offer me the transplant using a donor but I turned him down. The chance of mortality on that one is WAY too high for me to be comfortable with it. Guess I need to start working on another plan.
I will tell you that this hospital and operation down here is AMAZING. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s so well coordinated and everyone is so incredibly helpful.
Just wanted to update all of you. Will need some time to myself and my family for the next few days.
Take care and have a great Wednesday.
Deb
Sorry I didn’t get to blog Monday night. I got the kids out of the house and off to their grandparents and then I had to clean up the mess they left me. (laughing)
NOTE: I can get incoming email here but I can’t get to get my send file to actually…..SEND! UGH. So lots have you replies waiting in there.
Here’s the thing about me…..when I get nervous, I scrapbook. Before I started scrabpooking in 2003, I would clean (like serious clean with organization and labels) but now…I make scrapbook messes instead. I think Mike would prefer for me to go back to the cleaning. You can definitely tell right now that cleaning is NOT on my priority list. :) I usually hate to come back to a dirty house but….I really needed my creative therapy. The closer I got to today and leaving for Texas, the more my anxiety has gone up so I started doing creative projects on Saturday for just a few hours, on Sunday for half of the day and yesterday….well, you get the idea :) I know I said that I was going into this thinking…that if it’s meant to be it’ll happen but….apparently, I was lying. :) I’m a nervous wreck. I’m just praying that they won’t find anything that will eliminate me from the trial (if it’s gone into an organ, I’m automatically out – it would be unlikely because I was just scanned on 5/27 but it’s always a possibility with me). I also have mixed feelings about getting in because if I do get in, I have to leave my kids for 100 days. I had a hard time when they went to full day kindergarten – I can’t even imagine this. Either way, it is in God’s hands and if this is the path I’m supposed to be on than it will happen and I’ll figure out a way to get through it. The thought though of being NED (No Evidence of Disease) is amazing so I think I have to keep my eye on the big prize right now. Of course, that would eliminate my weekly 3 hour chemo sessions – WHAT would I do with all my free time???? :) So…I’m sitting at Des Moines INTERNATIONAL Airport (I giggle every time I say that because in order to get out of here to some place international, you need to be in a FED EX box). I took a picture of our luggage and how pathetic are we – for TWO of us for FOUR days and we have two laptops, a carry on, a purse and 2 suitcases. Plus..it’s like 100 degrees there so I don’t know why I brought so much stuff, I’m probably going to be in shorts and tshirts the whole time. Anyways, I got a little off topic here. So…on Sunday, I made three altered journals (with locks and keys – they were 50% off in the dollar bins at Target – they were mermaid but we changed that. They were to go in these:
Each kids gets one and it has a bunch of handmade craft kids, a little scrapbook that tells all the reasons I love them, stickers, some candy glue sticks, crayons etc. I thought this way, they have plenty to do while I’m gone and will hopefully feel really loved by me. I also sent notes to be “delivered” to them on Thursday. I gave them $2 each (HUGE big deal to my kids) to spend in town with my in-laws. I also finished my Houston book yesterday:
(well…it needs more color on the cover – I’m thinking flower but we’ll see and it also needs ribbon but that’s easy to do on the plane (laughing)). I did a bit more this afternoon but hopefully will get a lot done on the plane. I also finished Mari’s pink blanket (I have been crocheting like a crazy lady cause it was way too big to take on the plane). My mom sent t
his yarn in April from her trip to the Amish country in PA. Aren’t the colors awesome? Thanks Mom. I brought three skeins with me and my crotchet needle. Let’s see what else did I do…I’m sure there was more but apparently the chemo I got at 9 am this morning is affecting my brain so….we’ll stick with that. :) BTW, I won Kristi’s Make Something Monday last week (thanks Kristi). Shannon sent me an AWESOME shirt. The quality is amazing – I really liked Café Press before this but this tshirt is SO soft. Here’s me with my NEW t-shirt:
Thanks Shannon! You and Kristi made me day. I order a Mom Journal but it didn’t arrive on time so hopefully, I can get it done when I get home. I also signed up for Kristi’s class for a summer book (which includes product directly from Danelle). I got this great idea from Kristi’s site on letting my kid help me with journaling. Two weeks ago, we had six baby bunnies in the back yard (by the way – that was the LONGEST week of can we bring them in Mommy? I think their Mommy left them, can we feed them? Can we have a pet bunny? Seriously like every 15 minutes all day was a new question about those bunnies!). Anyways, the kids asked me to do a scrapbook page so I told them I’d do it, if they did the journaling for me and guess what??? It worked! Of course on Nicholas’, I had to write some extra because I will never figure out the spelling of some of his words two years from now). :) I also have taken LOTS of pictures and thanks to Trish, I just put in an order for 200 from Snapfish. They are having a sale right now. I have the coupon code for 50 for a penny each. If you need it, just email me and I’ll get it to you. I did end up signing up for Stacy’s new class. As some of you knew, I kept going back and forth because I’m just not sure what life is going to bring right now but I’ve decided to take the plunge. I’m hoping to just get some of the stacks of photos into books. Well…that’s it from here. Somehow writing this was therapeutic and I feel better than I did when I walked into the airport. They are charging $10 to use their Wi-fi here so…you will all have to wait until I post this from the hotel. One quick favor from all of you (or anyone who reads this), if you are the praying type, please keep me in your prayers. I know I’m so blessed to be here and that so many survivors who were diagnosed before and after me weren’t so lucky. I wake up every morning grateful to be here but I will take all the prayers I can get because I know they work. Medically I don’t make sense. (laughing – I know…..I’m wide open here for comments – be gentle!!! :) ) My thought is it’s prayers and a great doctor (and medical team –from the scheduler to the nurses to the PET scan people, to my Oncologist and Radiation Oncolgist, etc. All those people make such a difference in my life. I try to thank them as much as I can because what they do is absolutely amazing. Hope everyone had a GREAT Monday. More from Houston later.
Deb
P.S. The airport is a GREAT place to tag photos in Adobe when you have a delay. :) We also got really delayed so this is WAY too long cause I kept coming back and adding more. Hope you get through it all – sorry so chatty. :)Update 10:15 pm: We arrived in Houston later than expected but we are here. We are staying in an amazing hotel (part of MDA). Our day tomorrow so far is cancer center at 7am for new patients, meet Kasey for a quick coffee and then off to meet Dr. Ueno at 9 am. Not sure how much I’ll be on tomorrow. I have absolutely NO idea what they have planned for me so….I’ll send out updates when I can. I’m off to BED.
I thought this was posted last night but apparently I saved it instead. Anyways here you go.
Happy Birthday Mom!! Hope you are having an amazing day. Remember, even though you are getting older, these birthdays represent that you get another year of life…..(laughing)…..of course, I’m probably one of the happiest woman to be in their 40’s.
We miss you and love you.
Hope you have a wonderful day and do whatever makes me you feel joyful.
Love you.
Deb, Mike, Matthew, Mari and Nick
For those of you that I told (and I swear that’s everyone lately), I’m leaving on Tuesday for MD Anderson to be considered for the Stem Cell trial. I have to leave the kids for 4 days which always makes me anxious. If I get in, I have to leave them for 100 days…which I don’t even want to tell you how crazy that makes me.
It is exciting though. The trial is only for 36 women and when it’s full, it’s over. Kasey had the first transplant and I met her through the breastcancer. org website. She had hers in September and is still cancer free. It’s funny but she is going to be down in Houston while I’m there so we are trying to set up a time to meet. I’m excited to talk to someone who has already been through this.
It would be a long road BUT…I could be cancer free and that in itself is just amazing. Imagine not going to chemo every week - what would I do with my 5 hours on Wednesdays???….laughing
I’m a little anxious and a bit cranky today so if you call or visit, you’ve been forewarned. Gotta run and get packing plus I want to make my Houston scrapbook (on the go). I finished my stem cell binder last night. We get back on Friday night late and Matthew’s birthday is on Saturday so…I have so much to organize…..laughing
So much to do…so little time.
Have a great Sunday everyone.
Deb
WOW…today started early. We had to be up and ready, kids ready and bikes ready at 10 am. That was WAY too early for me. Everyone else was already outside when I stumbled out with my coffee in one hand in of course, the camera in the other. I got pictures before the bike parade started and then….I sat down in my little chair and watched as the rest of my family (including Mike) went around the block, to the park and back for the parade. I REALLY needed my coffee at that point.
I live in a great neighborhood with really great families. Some of them decided that this was the year for the block party so we closed off the street and everyone brought the grills out and we all a ball. One family set up a slip and slide, another set up horseshoes and I, of course, did the craft table with the craft basket which is always a huge hit. We also brought ribs, potato salad (my mom - thanks Mom for the recipe - that one is always a HUGE hit) and tomato mozzeralla salad.
This is my week off chemo though which for me means low energy so at about 3, I came inside and climbed into my bed and I am so happy i did because boy did I need that. I slept for a little over an hour and then went back out to enjoy some more. :) We had some neighbors over to watch fire works tonight and we made smores which is one of my FAVORITE things to do in the summer.
I hope everyone reading this had a great celebration today with lots of amazing memories.
Deb
P.S. My camera is acting up but I’ll try to get pics up later.
