We miss her terribly, but take comfort in the knowledge that she has gone to a better place.  A place where she is no longer in pain. 

We are extremely thankful for the support of friends and family.  The outpouring of love and compassion from across the country has shown us the incredible impact Debbie made where ever she went.   We would like to thank you all for the cards, flowers, notes, food, calls, prayers and all the expressions of sympathy and comfort after the passing of our beloved wife, mother and daughter.

Mike, Matt, Mari, Nick, Judi and Don.

Miles Funeral Home

 As I had mentioned I feel so blessed in the fact that the chemo is working. I know how lucky I am and I am so grateful every day.  I decided at the end of ‘08, that this was going to be my year for remission. I’ve always had surviving as a goal but never remission - it always seemed like too much to ask for.  I feel like I spent ‘08 finding out what wasn’t going to work (stem cell, living in IA, etc) and now that I’ve figured that out, I can now focus on what WILL work.

I also thinking moving back to MA to be with my family is one of the BEST treatments I could have.  There is so much laughter in my life right now.  Leave it to my crazy, Italian family to make me laugh! LOL :)  I told the kids my plan for ‘09 and they spent a day in December putting together a list for me on how I was going to get better.  The list is adorable and I have a copy of it in my planner and on the wall in our bedroom to remind me every day!  The best thing they added to the list was hugs and kisses! :)  Mari has been a bit of a drill sargeant with the list - when she gets home from school, she immediately asks me how many fruits and vegetables I’ve eaten that day (the goal is 9).  She has taken this remission thing VERY seriously.

I’ve also gotten back into scrapbooking. I’m taking a class a BPS called Get Organized and Be Inspired and scrapbooking has become fun again. I can actually locate what I need so I can now do a layout in about 30 minutes - part of the problem I had before was searching for a particular thing (which kind of takes the fun out of creating). So far in ‘09, I have finished a ton of projects (ok…3 mini books - that’s a ton for me! LOL ) and have done 8 12×12 pages.  I tried to post pics but I can’t get them small enough so…you’ll have to wait for another day for those.  I’m actually wondering if I can link this blog to flickr to post them. If you know, can you email me or leave a comment. There’s gotta be an easier way to do this.

I was really missing everyone from IA and then I got an invite to Facebook and well…..it’s almost like being there now. I kind of thought I was too old for facebook but there is a TON of moms on there and I can now keep up with everyone instead of emailing everyone individually.  The only downside with it is I’m spending more time on there than I should be! LOL It’s kind of addictive.

 Life is GOOD here.  I start back on chemo on Thursday. I think it will be easier to deal with the side effects now that I know it’s working. They took me off on Dec. 17th to start radiation and then we were waiting to find out if I was going to have my back cemented (I know….it’s amazing what I’ll do, right???) Since they haven’t made a decision yet, I’ve asked to restart chemo as I feel like it’s been too long off (although I have enjoyed the increased energy). Crazy when someone is ASKING for chemo, right??? LOL:)  That’s me, the crazy one!

Sorry I’ve been so bad about blogging. We had to update the software and when we did, we lost everything so it’s taken a while to get everything back up and running but we should be good now.  I still have to make it look pretty but….it’s kind of low on my list so…hopefully you just enjoy reading it and maybe some pictures when I figure that out.

Hope everyone is doing well and has had a fantastic start to ‘09!

 I’ll update soon but I just wanted everyone to know that LIFE IS GOOD!! A few rough months after the move but I’m back now!! LOL

Thanks for all the emails to make sure I was OK! You guys are the best!!

 The kids have been amazing - we haven’t even pulled out the portable DVD yet (Ok…now that I’ve said that out loud…I probably will have to tomorrow, right??? LOL :))

 The kids and I each have our scrapbooks on the go. The kids are doing much better than I have. I have day one done but they have been collecting stuff from everywhere (leaf from Niagra Falls, coins from Canada, business cards from all the hotels we’ve stayed at and menus. I know that they are going to cherish these books some day.  We’ve had a few fights but very few.  We just been having fun.

 Here’s what my den looked like early on Friday:

then a little later, my front yard looked like this:

 The movers said they would be finished before 5 - they left at 7:30.  So we have learned that we are going to need to be flexible for the next couple of weeks because nothing has gone as planned! LOL

We only made it to IL on Saturday but then woke up on Sunday and decided to make up time so on Sunday alone we finished driving though IL, then IN, then MI and finally stopped in London Ontario (about 12 hours in the car - UGH!).  The one great thing about travelling at this time of year is the colors. I love fall but seeing all the leaves and beautiful colors in the field has just been incredible and I swear that Niagra Falls (on the Canada side) just took my breath away.  What an incredible trip this has been with the kids.

 Here’s Mike and the kids at “the falls” on the Canada side earlier today:

I also realized today after downloading 377 pictures to the computer that maybe I should get in some of them tomorrow.  You wouldn’t know from the pictures that I’m even on this trip! LOL :)  Isn’t it always that way?? 

 Tomorrow we are headed to the Baseball Hall of Fame (no way I was going to be able to skip this with Matthew in the car). I think that Mari, Nicholas and I will spend the day at an apple orchard instead as they have little interest in baseball.  And then, we are headed (finally) to MA. I’m so excited to see my family and to see the house we are renting! LOL :)  My brother said it’s great and we have similar taste so….I’m hoping it’s all good.

 Dana Farber called yesterday and asked me to get my records there asap.  I’m scheduled for an appt. on Tuesday (we decided to skip this week from chemo because of all the traveling).

I’m already missing my friends from IA. A few have been texting me so it’s been nice to hear from them.  I’m just amazed that in only 5 years, our lives were so weaved in that community.  I’m so excited to see my family but really sad to leave such a good thing. :)  On Friday, I dropped the kids off at school and sat in the parking lot sobbing for 10 minutes. I think it was the first time I let all those emotions go.  Well…actually not the first time, about 20 women showed up on Monday night at a restaurant to say goodbye and although I was laughing and having fun during the meal, as soon as the cards and gifts came at the end, I just couldn’t get the words out without tears. It was an amazing group of women who have all touched my life in one way or another and because of them, I am a better person.

 Speaking of special women, I also had so many the last two weeks I was there come help me pack.  It was just incredible.  You all  know who you are but I’m going to miss you all so much and just like the women above, I’m a better person for having known you!

Ok…enough mushy stuff.  So not like me.  I guess I should also mention (since I’m making this trip sound SO good) that I’ve had three kids with a cold who have all been whiney at one point or another but really the good has way outweighed the bad and I would do it again in heartbeat!  For all you moms out there who travel in the car for hours with kids on vacation, I highly suggest a comp book (they can decorate the cover), a glue stick, markers and stickers. My kids have been keeping themselves busy for HOURS with those books!!

 Well…off to reorganize our luggage (again)….take out laundry and figure out outfits for tomorrow. We are all almost out of clothes so….time to get to our new home soon. Of course the moving company called yesterday to tell use that our moving van has been held up with another move and won’t get there until Monday. These people PROMISED me that it would get there no later than Saturday.  I called today to see if they could figure something out. I kept saying to the woman “but you gave me your word”.  I don’t understand that these days - no one keeps their word anymore. It’s so hard to trust businesses when no one takes responsiblity for not following through.  Ok…even writing about this is making me cranky so…..

Hope everyone is enjoying FALL!! :)  For those reading from IA, we miss you already.  From those in MA, we can’t wait to see you soon!! :)  I’m still in disbelief that my dream to go live by my family is actually coming true.  I just can’t wait!!

 Not sure when the next update will be but I just wanted to let everyone know that we are safe and happy. Actually, LIFE IS GOOD these days!! :) 

 P.S. I’m week behind on emails so please know that I’ll get my act together soon and start responding to them.  Between the move, chemo and emotions, etc, I’m just behind…..really, really behind! :)  I promise to catch up in the next week or two.

 Lots to get done before then so I doubt I’ll be posting much.

My tumor markers have also gone up (hoping that’s just all the stress).  I start new treatment on Wednesday (Taxol) and would appreciate prayers that this drug will do it’s job.

We are so excited.  The kids have been singing “we are moving to Boston! We are moving to Boston”.  Of course we are moving over an hour away from Boston but I’m glad they are so excited!

I can’t wait to be in driving distance of my entire family and I just know that being around them will help heal me.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

 Anyways, magazines are HEAVY and since they base a move on weight, I’ve decided that they magazines can’t come with us so….I started flipping through them to save what I wanted and toss the rest (I’m making an inspiration book with them since I really need one these days). Anyways, a few things happened while I was going through them:

1. I miss the layouts from the 03-04 time frame (and yes….I DID still have magazines that old. I swore I through them all out but I found a huge stack in the back of one of my shelves in the closet).  If you have a chance to go through a book or magazine from this time, look at the layouts. They were so beautiful and had so many layers to them. It made me realize that I missed the tearing (especially for photo mats) and layering of paper, mesh, fabric, etc.  I’ve been doing simpler layouts lately (you’ll usually find me with ribbon, a stapler, a pen and adhesive but that’s kind of it).  I miss the stamping, inking, ripping, etc so….my new goal is to try to do atleast one of the “old way” layouts once a week.  I know the big push in the industry is for simplicity and I’m all about that but I kind of miss the hours on one layout thing as well so maybe I can find a balance!

2.  In CK, I was flipping through the reader layouts and one was on faith and I thought…wow…that would be a great page on my kids so I ripped it out. When I looked closer, the “reader” was Ali Edwards. How funny is that???

3.  The use of eyelets…..I haven’t used an eyelet in I don’t know how long and let me tell you….I have a few of them just hanging around here. :) There were some great ideas for using them. One had ribbon weaved in and out of them etc.

For those of you who don’t scrapbook, I’m sure this post is “out there” but if you do, I wish you could all see what I saw in those old magazines tonight.  The layouts had so much more texture then.  I, for one, miss that.

 Laundry bell just rang so gotta go fold before it gets wrinkled.

Have a great night everyone!

Deb 

At the beginning of August, we headed down to Kansas City to see two of the Red Sox games.  We decided to splurge and stay at the same hotel as the Red Sox which was pretty cool.  Matthew will tell you how COOL it was to see “Big Papi” walk through the lobby.

 Security was really tight there and not only could you not have a pen or camera in your hand but you were not able to speak to the players as well.  Not sure if we would stay there again because they weren’t all that nice to their guests staying there but it was an experience.

 The best part of the entire 4 days was that the Red Sox threw a ball to Matthew after batting practice.  Here is a picture of Matthew will the ball:

Can’t you just SEE the JOY in his face. I love, love, love this photo!

We returned from KC on the 6th, I went to chemo, came home, epacked and left for Boston the next morning at 6 am.  Nothing like fitting it all in, huh?? :)  Oh….being at the Cape was just AMAZING.  There is something about it that just automatically puts me into relax mode.  Mari has this in her as well…..as soon as we arrived, she said…Mommy, our toes need SAND! LOL So…of course, we headed to the beach. The weather wasn’t as great as it could have been but since I don’t do well in the sun lately, it was great for us. We made sand castles, collected shells and just had fun! :)  Seeing my family was wonderful  (especially my grandmother who came all the way down to see me thanks to my uncle Kevin!) as usual and it got me thinking….I need to be back there so upon returning home, my “new goal” has been to return to MA to live.  We are still working out the details but we are really trying to make this happen.  Now…I’m not up and moving today (for those that haven’t seen me) but we are moving in that direction - trying to find a rental house there (which has been harder than we thought), purging and packing here and well…trying to figure out how we can make this happen.  Just didn’t want it to be a shock to anyone although I’m pretty sure that anyone who has talked to me within the past six months, you’ve probably expected this was coming, right????

After Boston, we returned to IA to go to the “State Fair” with Mike’s sister and cousins.  It was fun.  The kids of course can’t get enough of it there. 

I decided to put the kids in school here just in case our move didn’t go as planned so they started on time. We took lots and lots of pictures that morning but here is my favorite:

They love their teachers and are really back in the groove of things. I like having my days free (especially since I’m cleaning, packing and purging) and I really like having a schedule again. Don’t get me wrong, summer is WONDERFUL but after a while, I tend to crave some type of schedule. 

The worst part of the summer happened last Sunday, we lost my grandfather.  I didn’t go home for the funeral because I ended up with bronchitis and my family felt that I shouldn’t take the risk in making the trip.  It was a VERY hard couple of days. I adored my “Papa” and will miss him so much.  Having that happened though just strengthened my commitment to move home as I need to be with my Grandmother. She needs me right now.  Here was the obituary from the paper on my Papa:

Thomas B. Hayes M.D.
NORTH ANDOVER — Thomas B. Hayes, M.D., 86, died Sunday, Aug. 24, 2008 at the Prescott Nursing Home in North Andover after a lengthy illness. He is survived by his wife of 59 years, Loretta Spires Hayes.Dr. Hayes was born in Lawrence and spent the rest of his life in North Andover. He was the son of Anna (Bradley) and Thomas Hayes. He was the brother of Dorothea Myers and Francis “Gunner” Hayes of North Andover, and the brother-in-law of Doris Hayes of Portsmouth, N.H. He is also survived by his 10 children, Judi and her husband Donald of Paxton; Thomas Hayes Jr. and his wife, Karen of Haverhill; Michael Hayes of Manchester, N.H.; Kevin Hayes of North Andover; John Hayes of Kittery, Maine; Daniel Hayes and his wife, Susan of Chadds Ford, Pa.; Mary Beth Rentschler and her husband, Dennis of Chelmsford; Brian and his wife, Tonya of Randleman, N.C.; Cathy Lee and her husband, Gregory of North Andover; and Patrick Hayes of Hampton, N.H. He was a devoted grandfather to 14 grandchildren, Deborah Wharff and her husband Michael; Donald Mancini and his wife Tina; Brad Mancini, Patrick Mancini, Sean Hayes and his wife, Katie; Ryan Hayes, Christen Hayes, Erin Hayes, Cailin Hayes, Thomas Hayes, Spencer Hayes, Brianna Lee, Keira Lee, Colin Lee. He also cherished his six great-grandchildren. He was predeceased by his brother, James and his sister, Monica.Dr. Hayes’ education consisted of Pre-Med at Emory University in Georgia in 1940’s; Doctor of Medicine degree, Class of 1950 Harvard Medical School; Post Doctoral Training: Internship at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Brighton; and his three-year residency in Surgery was also completed at St. Elizabeth’s. He was appointed to Surgical Staff at Bon Secours Hospital in Methuen and Lawrence General Hospital from the 1950’s thru 1970’s. Dr. Hayes was Chief of Surgery at Lawrence General Hospital from 1965 to 1968, and the President of the Medical Staff at Bon Secours Hospital from 1971-1973. He was the President of the Greater Lawrence Medical Society from 1960 to 1963, the Director of Emergency Medical Services for 11 years at Bon Secours, and he maintained a General Practice from 1983 to 1988.Dr. Hayes was appointed a Member of the State Trauma and State Emergency Medical Services Advisory Committees, Massachusetts chapter of the American College Emergency Physicians Committee on Legislation and Public Relations, and a Massachusetts Representative to the Federal Task Force to establish a national emergency medical services program.He served as Medical Director at J P Stevens for 10 years and at Honeywell for 30 years; Medical Director at Whittier Rehab in Haverhill in 1983 to 1984; Medical Director at Hannah Dustin Healthcare in Haverhill in 1987 to 2004. Member of the Sun Valley Association at Seabrook Beach, N.H.; Portsmouth Country Club; VFW Post 2104; Knights of Columbus Monsignor Shea Council 3819, and the Holy Name Society of St. Michael’s Parish. Dr. Hayes was a U. S. Navy pharmacist mate, 3rd class and Neuropsych technician in World War II. He also served in the U. S. Army during the Korean War, as a post surgeon to the 187th Airborne Regimental Combat Team in Kyusha, Japan. Dr. Hayes opened his first office at 17 Third St., North Andover, leased from Louis A McAloon. Several years later when his childhood friend, John Willis, opened an office complex, Dr. Hayes moved his office to 168 Pleasant St. He enjoyed a long medical career as a general surgeon and physician in the Merrimack Valley area and was known as a compassionate and caring man. He was a devoted family man spending summers with his family at Seabrook Beach. His vacations were centered around taking his children on educational and historical road trips, and he enjoyed camping with them as well. His hobbies included golfing, bowling, skiing, reading and wood working. He and his wife traveled internationally and some of their favorite trips included Ireland, Spain, Rome and the Holy Land. He was fortunate to have been surrounded by many friends and always made time for fun. In his later years, Dr. Hayes cherished his golfing days with his friends at Portsmouth Country Club. ARRANGEMENTS: Relatives and Friends may pay their respects at the Conte Funeral Home at 17 Third St., North Andover on Wednesday 4 to 8 p.m. A Mass of Christian burial will be celebrated at St. Michael’s Church, Main Street, North Andover, on Thursday at 10 a.m. Burial will be held at Ridgewood Cemetery, Salem Street, North Andover. Memorial donations can be made to St. Michael’s Church or to the charity of your choice. For online condolences or for directions to funeral home please visit www.contefuneralhomes.com.

He was an AMAZING man and I already miss him so much.  I know though that he will always be with us. 

Anyways, that’s it from here. 

Hoping to get back on track soon with posts.  It’s hard to do an update for a month plus when you’ve had as much fun as we have had.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend!

Deb

P.S. I did have a PET/CT on 8/18 and it showed “bone only disease” still. I feel so blessed. It will be five years on 9/15.

 Ok….back to dancing and signing….we’re going to Boston! We’re going to Boston!!

 So this morning, I hit google looking for ideas and I found two great blog entries with ideas.  You can find them here and here.

We are set to go to Kansas City on the 3rd to see the Boston Red Sox play the KC Royals - we have tickets for two out of three games and Matthew is SO excited!! I had promised him that we would see a game at Fenway Park this year but once my trip to TX was set, I couldn’t figure out how to make that work so we went this route instead.  I’m also trying to get to the Cape for a few days.  This would be the first year in like 6 years that I wouldn’t be at the beach during the summer.  I was fine with that until a couple of days ago when Mari pulled out the mini books from the past couple of summers.  She started going through the memories and then Matthew and Nicholas started with…..we really miss the beach, we want to go to the Cape Codder (our favorite hotel there) and well….you know I was already in!! LOL :)  So…I’m stalking the airline sites trying to find cheap tickets.  So far the cheapest I can find is $350 a piece which may be a deal breaker!  But…I’m not giving up yet!! LOL

And totally unrelated, I sent an email to The View   this morning which is so unlike me but…..HUGE KUDOS to Elisabeth Hasselbeck for bringing up the lastest study which says that self breast exams may be harmful.  That study made me SO mad because the self breast exam saved my life.  For those of you that haven’t heard the story, I found the lump on my own when I was 37 and went to see a doctor the next day who told me that there was no way it was cancer and to watch it for 6 months. I knew something wasn’t right so 4 weeks later, I got another appointment this time with an OB/GYN who also told me that it wasn’t cancer. At this point, I got angry and said I wasn’t leaving without a mammogram. She said she would schedule it but the next available one was 4 weeks later and she didn’t see a reason to rush it. Well…the rest is history.  Here’s the deal gals…..under 40, a self breast exam is your ONLY tool for detecting breast cancer since mammograms aren’t recommended under the age of 40.  For those of you in this age bracket, please, please continue to do them.  It saved my life and although, I hope that no other woman ever has to go through this, that isn’t realistic right now.  Once you know your breasts, you WILL be able to tell when they don’t feel right.  Ok….stepping down from my soapbox now…thanks Elisabeth for bringing this up on national TV. You will never know how many lives you may have saved!!

We are off to work on our Make It Something Monday projects - the kids are working on making their OWN zoo books (and their perfectionistic mother is keeping her mouth shut! ) and I’m not sure what I’m going to work on yet but…will figure out something.

 I’ll update later. Have a great Monday everyone.

Deb

 And thank goodness for Grammy’s.  A HUGE box arrived yesterday from my mom with presents for all of us.  It was mainly Matthew’s birthday gifts since he turned NINE (can you believe that - where did the time go) on Saturday but she also included gifts for Mari, Nicholas and ME!! :)  It was like Christmas and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed some time alone and the kids played for HOURS with their new treasures.  Thanks Mom!! (Matthew tried to call you yesterday on both your home and cell phone but he’s not very good at leaving a message so…..we’ll try again today)

I hope you all know HOW much your support means to me.  I always say that having cancer can be very lonely at times but you have all made this a much more positive experience for me so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My friend Marilyn (another survivor) reminded me the other day that nothing has changed.  It still isn’t in my organs and two months ago, I didn’t even know about this trial and I was doing fine. I do have to admit that hearing that I wasn’t in the trial and then on Saturday morning that my tumor markers went up about 20+ points, I felt like I was knocked down.  I’m back to finding that fighting spirit in me. I KNOW I can do this and I have three kids that are counting on it.  Thanks Marilyn for being such a smart lady.

 Enough about cancer. I’m honestly sick of thinking and talking about it.  Yesterday, I finished my start jar (from the LOM class) and got to go to Matthew’s baseball game.  He is having a ball this summer on the second season team and they won the game 20 to 5!! :)  Tonight, he is the starting pitcher - first time ever. I’m so nervous for him but of course, I’m not telling him that.  You’ll find me at Holiday Park early with my camera to capture this moment!!

 Speaking of capturing moments. I have to tell you that the class kit from One Summer is AMAZING.  So many goodies in there and the directions from Kristi are so detailed.  I’m not sure if they sold out yet but you can check out Kristi’s blog here to see if they have some left if you are interested.

 I also signed up for the Get Inspired Crop.  I’ve heard from people that it’s one of the best crops they have been to and I’m excited to have something to look forward to.

 So, is anyone going to CHA in Chicago???  I would LOVE to go.  If you have an extra ticket that is just burning a hole in your pocket, please let me know. I’m even willing to spend my evening helping you out with whatever.  CHA is one of the trade shows for scrapbooking but you have to be with a manufacturer or a retailer to attend.  It’s been one of my dreams to go and I always think (right about this time of year) that I should start a scrapbooking website but I really think I’m better at buying scrapbooking supplies versus selling them (laughing)

 Well…that’s it from here. We are off to Walmart for a HUGE shopping trip.  I even cut out coupons!  I decided to turn it into a learning experience so Nicholas is responsible for the list and crossing things off, Matthew is reading the coupons and Mari has agreed to finding the items.  So…how long do you think this trip is going to take us???? (laughing) :)  I have a 2 page list so I’m thinking….two hours????

Anyways, I’ll update later but again, I can’t thank you all enough for your support. You really know how to make this girl feel special!!

Have a great day everyone.

Deb